Brendan Peveril . net

This is a bit of Flash Fiction (I capitalize because it’s a relatively new thing, you know) that I wrote that I don’t think anyone else is going to publish. Enjoy, although all evidence I have indicates that it’s shit.

Anyway, you don’t need to know what I really think.

If anyone’s interested, I also wrote this in the opposite direction, like you’d read in a forum.

From: dstalker@sableflag.net
To: all
Date: XXX, XX 20XX 6:45PM
Subject: re: Farewell

Jimeny, can I borrow some of your X-files DVDs? I just feel like getting some pizzas, maybe some chicken wings and watching Scully all night. Is anybody else up for that?

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 2:38PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

Fuck you!!!!

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 2:34PM, Jimeny Chaingun (jiminchains@sableflag.net) wrote:

Jesus. No need to go all fucking agro. I’m just calling it like I see it.

-Jimeny Chaingun

XX/XX, 2:21PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

M: Thank you for your support.
J: I can’t believe you could be so callous about both my horrible pain and the way that I express it artistically. Fuck you. I’m officially through speaking to you. If you ever try talking to me again I will personally beat the living shit out of you. I don’t need friends who so obviously hate me and all I stand for.

Good bye.

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 2:16PM, Jimeny Chaingun (jiminchains@sableflag.net) wrote:

Dude, that’s got to be the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.

-Jimeny Chaingun

XX/XX, 2:15PM, Da Milfman!! (milfman@sableflag.net) wrote:

That’s great, Dude! I wish I could write peoms like that.

-Milfman

XX/XX, 2:07PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

Well, my verse is mostly a private thing between my love and I, but here are a few lines from the most recent epic that I slipped into her locker:

Alone in the shadows, I wait for you
When morning approaches I’m covered in dew.
The bones of my longing laid bare,
The only thought that saves me, the smell of your hair.

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 2:02PM, Da Milfman!! (milfman@sableflag.net) wrote:

Poetry? Care to show some of it to us?

-Milfman

XX/XX, 1:51PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

How dare you trivialize my suffering, Jamie! No one has lived so long with pain like this! How can someone I love so much just dismiss me? Has anyone written her poetry like I have? To think I trusted you.

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 1:45PM, Jimeny Chaingun (jiminchains@sableflag.net) wrote:

What happened? Did Shannon shoot you down again? It’s something everyone goes through. She’s never going to go out with you, why don’t you try asking someone else out? She’s out of your league, dude.

-Jimeny Chaingun

XX/XX, 1:28PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

I’m sorry, man, but there won’t be a later. I can feel the end getting nearer even as we speak. There won’t be a bright light for me, though, just an eternal darkness, as I huddle in the cold bosom of the Earth.

There’s no hope for me in a harsh world like this one.

-Darkstalker

XX/XX, 1:23PM, Jimeny Chaingun (jiminchains@sableflag.net) wrote:

Dude, I thought you were done with this whole “troubled teen” routine. It’s been like, two whole months since the last time.

Later,
-Jimeny Chaingun

XX/XX, 1:02PM, Darkstalker (dstalker@sableflag.net) wrote:

Dear Friends,

I’m sending this message to all of you because you’re the people I care most about and who care most about me. I think you come closest to understanding the horrible pain I’m in, the humiliation I’ve suffered, the agony inflicted upon me by the world.

My mortal coil grows weary of these trials, even while it shudders at what lies beyond. Don’t bother saying anything to try to stop me. By the time you read this I’ll already be gone.

I’ve left another letter to my parents to let them know what of my stuff I want you guys to have. I hope you enjoy it and it brings you the comfort I’ve never had. I don’t need it where I’m going.

Farewell,
Geoffrey Darkstalker Lloyd

This is why we can’t have nice things.